Temperances secret
by Zivalover
Summary: This story contain self injury. Don't read if you can't handle. I'm not very good at summaries so please read to find out.
1. the beginning

Kinda of an AU

Disclaimer I do not own bones

Warning. Self mutilation is in this story and possibly femslash haven't decided yet

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Temperance Brennan, also known as Bones, was what some people called unique. She was a very quick learner and lived alone. She was somewhat distant from other people. She loved her job and hated leaving. She dated few people and when she did it was only for a few weeks or at most a few months. She was always traveling so she tried not to get into a serious relationship with anyone. Her partner, Booth, knew everything there was to know about her, or so he thought. The one thing Bones was good at was acting. Since about the age of 16 she was able to fool everyone around her that she was happy. The truth was, she was upset, mad and annoyed inside. It all started when she was 15 and her parents abandoned her and her brother. She felt alone and hurt. It made it worse that she was moved around a lot from foster family to foster family. When she 16 she was with a foster family that hated children. They often ignored the children and beat the children. The only thing good they did for the children was sending them to school. Temp loved school; it was the only place that rarely changed with each move. In this particular school Temp had made a few friends. They somewhat knew her story but loved hanging out with her. There was one day in particular that changed Temps life.

_Flashback_

_Temp had been having a pretty horrible day and everything seemed to be getting worse. Her foster father had beaten her last night because she had corrected him when he was yelling at her. Her back and stomach still hurt. She forgot to do some of her homework and the teachers had threatened to give her a detention. She had to leave the classroom after her math teacher gave her a quiz back and she barely passed. She walked into the bathroom to get away from people. She walked in and headed to the sinks. She headed to the nearest sink and turned the cold water on. She washed her face and took a few deep breaths. She was trying to calm to calm down when another student walked out of one of the stalls. The girl went to the sink to wash her hands. Temp glanced over and noticed something. _

"_Your arm is bleeding; you might want to cover it so it won't get infected." The girl nodded. "How'd you do it?"_

_The girl hesitated for a moment. "Uhh my cat scratched me." _

"_Do you mind if I look. It has to have been pretty deep if it's bleeding."_

"_No its ok I'll take care of it myself." The girl started to walk away. _

"_It's not really from a cat is it?" The girl stopped for a second. _

"_You really wanna know? I did to myself. There, now why don't you go and blab it to the whole fucking school." _

"_I have no reason to. I just don't understand why you'd do that."_

"_Sorry for blowing up. It's been a really bad day. As to why I did it, it helps take away the pressure of a lot of things." Temp didn't say anything started to think. She girl turned and walked away. Temperance dried her hands then went back to her math class. _

_End Flashback_

That day had been the start of Bones' worse habit. It had been that night that she had started to cut. It was her way of getting rid of all her pent up feelings inside. The only people who knew about never did anything to stop her and she had no intention of telling anyone else. She knew where not to cut and how to take care of herself each time. She had had a couple of scary moments when she slipped but never went deep enough to end up in the hospital. At work she did a good job of hiding the cuts and scars. All it took was one slip up and her secret was out.

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I have a plan for the next chapter but that will only come with reviews. so please let me know what you think 


	2. discovery

Thank you everyone for your reviews. I greatly appreciate it.

**QueenofStandoff**... i just wanted to say that you can help your friends just by being there for them and listen to them. I know a few of my friends have helped me greatly and continue to do so in my hard time of stopping. so just be there for them.

To everyone one who celebrates. Merry Christmas. I hope it was a good one or at least not too bad.

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Temp was not having a particularly good day. It was Christmas and everything seemed to be going wrong. When she left for work she couldn't find her keys. After an hour of searching she found them locked in her car. She was 20 minuets late for work and when she did arrive Cam started to yell at her and threatened to fire her if it ever happened again. She went into her office and sat down when Booth walked in. 

"Come on Bones we have a case." Temp didn't follow right away but took a deep breath then left.

To make everything worse the bones were that of a 3 year old girl. From what Temp could tell she had been beaten severely before her head was hit, most likely killing her. The main thing Temp hated was when they found the body of a child. It seemed so unfair and unjust. She took her time processing everything and carefully transported the bones back to her office. Angela was working on making the girl 'alive' so that they could try to find out who she was.

After working with the Bones for a few hours Temp excused herself to her office. When she got there she sat in her chair and rummaged around her top drawer for a moment. She found her razor after a few minuets then rolled up her sleeve. She brought the razor to her arm then dragged it across her skin. Almost instantly she felt a hint of relief. She took a deep breath and cut again. As she brought the razor to her skin for a third time her door swung open. In shock she accidentally slipped and cut deeper than she was used to. She gasped in surprise and dropped her razor. She quickly got a handful of tissues. She looked up to see Angela half in the door half out talking to someone. She came into Temperance's office and started to talk.

"Hey Temp, I think I finally was able to get a- Temp you're bleeding. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine Ange, I hit it on uh a screw under my desk. I've been meaning to do something about it."

"Here let me see it. I could help bandage it in a jiffy." Angela started to move towards her but Temp pulled her arm towards her.

"No it's fine I can take care of it myself." She hadn't realized that a lot of her other scars had been showing when she rolled up her sleeve so when Angela got on the other side of the desk she gasped.

"Oh my god, Temp what did you do?" She asked in a concerned voice.

"It's nothing; I told you I scraped a nail."

"Temp, you have scars going up your arm, some of them are some what healed. Honey what you are doing is…. It's dangerous. You could accidentally go to deep or bleed to death."

"I know what I'm doing. It's not really any of your business. I can take care of myself."

"Temperance, it is completely my business if some I know and love is hurting herself. Temp, please, get help. Tell me what you need and I'll get it or do it for you." Temp didn't know what to say. She looked up at Angela and started to cry.

"I'm scared what'll happen if I do get help and if I stop. I don't want to go to some crazy hospital. I... I need this Ange."

"Come stay with me for awhile. Then you won't necessarily have to seek professional help unless you want to or you can't stop." Temp was sobbing by now and Angela was kneeling in front or her. "Please Temp; let me see your arm." Temperance slowly took the tissue away from her arm and Angela took Temps hand into hers. She looked for a moment then stood and got the first aid kit. She took out some gauze and band aids. After stopping the bleeding she carefully covered each fresh cut with a band aid. She then slowly help Temp stand up. She went and got both of their jackets.

"Come on sweetie, we are going to go home and take care of you." Temp didn't say anything but just nodded and silently cried. As Angela was helping Temp put her jacket on Booth barged into her office.

"Bones what's taking you so long I thou- Hey where are you going? We have a case here."

"I am taking Temp home. She's not really feeling well right now."

"Since when do you go home in the middle of a case?" Temp still hadn't said anything.

"Since she started to not feel well and she needs to go home."

"Well…. Fine. Just take care of that arm to. It looks like you got into a fight with a cat or something."

"Yea that's it something. Angela can we please go now?" Angela put her arm around Temp and led her out. They were almost out when Cam stepped in front of them.

"Excuse me, where they hell do you two think you are going? We have a lot of work to do around here."

"Cam just let us go. I need to take Temp home."

'Not until you give me a good reason."

"Because if you don't then Temp will only get worse and possibly pass out. What she needs right now is rest and plenty of it."

"Fine. We can't have our best anthropologist get too sick. I want you two back here tomorrow." Angela shook her head in disagreement then walked away before Cam could argue with her.

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I will make Booth be better in the later chapters. I need to know if anyone would have objection of a femslash story. I can make it go either way. 


	3. can't stop

Sorry it's been a little while.. first off happy new year,second thank you everyone so much for the reviews.

THANK YOU: to moosemer11 for the suggestion to this chapter. I give you credit for giving me the advice.

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Angela got Temperance settled in her guest room. They had stopped by Temps house to get some personal items. She was a little worried about leaving Temp alone especially after the day she had, but she need to show Temp that she trusted her. She left her to get her things put away and went to the kitchen. She started to make tea for both of them.

About 10 minuets later Temperance came out of the bedroom looking a little more calm and refreshed. Angela was pouring the tea into two mugs. She noticed Temp had changed into loose fitting clothes.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling? I made you some tea."

"Thank you. I'm feeling better." They walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. They sat for a few minuets sipping their tea before Angela spoke up.

"Temp, if you don't mind me asking, why?"

" Umm Well, it kind of takes away the pressure I feel."

"Does anyone else know about it?"

"A couple of friends from college and one of my foster moms. She called my social worker and told her I was fucked up and she never wanted to see me again. The social worker in turn put me into a group home."

"She didn't do anything about it?"

"Nope, just told me that whatever I was doing I needed to stop or else I would never be adopted."

"Oh sweetie, that sounds so unfair." Angela leaned over and gave Temp a hug. They spent the rest of the evening on the couch talking about a lot of stuff.

The next morning Temperance was up before Angela. Angela woke up to the smell of bacon and pancakes. She threw a bathrobe on her and walked out to her kitchen. When she got there she saw Temperance had made at least 5 pancakes, bacon and coffee. When Temp noticed Angela she smiled.

"Hey I wasn't sure how much you usually ate so I cooked 3 for you, or if you only want 2 we can split the last one in half."

"Temp, you didn't have to do anything because I would have been just as happy to go and get something."

"It's ok I don't mind. What time do you have to go to work today?"

"I took off so we could do something."

"Ok, so what do you want to do?"

"I don't care whatever you want to."

"How about we just stay here for the day and relax."

"Sounds great to me." After they ate breakfast they went into the living room and looked at the DVD's. After a few moments of arguing they decided on watching Underworld Evolution. Angela loved the movie because in her movie it had cute romantic side to it. Temperance was watching it because she thought it was interesting how they had something that didn't exist and made it into a movie that a lot of people liked. They watched the movie and took a break for lunch then started the second one. Half way through the movie Temp excused herself. Angela didn't think anything of it until Temperance didn't come back. She paused the movie then went to find Temp. She noticed that the bathroom door was closed. She lightly knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"Temp, sweetie everything ok?" When she didn't get a response she got a little desperate. "Temperance open the door now please…… Temperance Brennan open this damn door now." When she didn't get an answer she tried the door knob but found it locked. She quickly got her cell phone and called Booth. As soon as he answered she demanded that her come over. After giving him her address she hung up and tried to kick down the door. After the third try she finally got the door open. The first thing she noticed was Brennan on the floor. She was leaning against the bath with a razor in her hand. Her leg was bleeding from 4 fresh cuts. Angela grabbed a washcloth and pressed it against the cuts.

"Damn it Temp. You're supposed to be stopping." Temperance didn't say anything. I t was almost like she was in a daze. A few minuets after Angela was able to get the bleeding stopped Booth showed up. He stopped when he saw Temperance's arms and leg which were covered in scars.

"What the hell happened?"

"She cut herself. I can't stop her. I think you need to try." Booth just shook his head. After covering Temp up he picked her up and brought her to his car. Temperance got her clothes and brought them out to the car. She then apologized to Temp and closed her door.

When Booth reached his house he carried Temp into his bedroom and put her down. He left the door open and went into this living room to think things through.

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Review new chapter 


	4. trying to help

Sorry it took so long. I have had a LOT going on. My cast is finally off but I am still having wrist problems. I am having other problems such as stopping the whole cutting thing. so yea i am struggling and I will try to update soon but I am not sure when when it will be...So yea.Sorry and please enjoy

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When Temperance woke up she was confused. The last thing she remembered was being at Angela's house. She looked around and noticed a picture of Booth and Parker and another of her and Booth that had been taken at a party about a year ago. She gathered that she was most likely at Booth's house. How she got there, she had no clue, but she knew that if she was here then something most have happened. That's when she felt a sting on her arm and her memory of the day before came back. She remembered telling Angela that she had to go to the bathroom. The stress of everything just built up and she had to do something. What she gathered was that she cut a little too deep and most likely passed out. She got up and walked out into the living room where she saw Booth sleeping on the couch. Not wanting to wake him up she moved into the kitchen. She got herself a glass of water than went back into the living room and sat in a chair. She waited for Booth to wake up and thought about what kind of mess she had gotten herself into.

About 15 minuets later Booth woke up and noticed Temperance sitting in a chair with a glass her hand and her eyes closed. He slowly sat up and went to get the glass from Temperance. She opened her eyes as her eyes as he did so. They looked at each other in the eye for a moment before Booth took the glass to the kitchen and returned. He sat down across from her and took a deep breath before talking.

"So how long have you been doing this for?"

"Since I was about 15."

"Wow, I don't know what to say. I mean how hasn't anyone noticed all these years?"

"Easy, I wear long sleeves shirts and nobody asks." They sat for a few moments in silence.

"So what can I or we do to help you?"

"I don't know." She stood up to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"Just a second." He went into the bathroom and took out everything he could find that was sharp and could be use to cut. He hated to do this but he wanted her to be safe. After he came out Temperance went in and spent a few a while in there. She came out looking kind of mad.

"What's wrong Bones?"

"None of your business."

"I had to do that Bones for your own safety." She stormed off into Booths room and slammed his door. He walked in a couple of seconds later.

"You know Bones, I am trying to help. It may be a little extreme but you gotta do what you gotta do."

"I know what I'm doing. I don't need any ones help. I can stop on my own."

"Yea then that's why you're pissed off that I took everything sharp out of my bathroom." Temperance looked at him and went to leave.

"You're not going any where Temp. I am going to help you." She tried to get past Booth but he grabbed her. She tried to fight him but he just pulled her closer. After a few minuets of her struggling she finally gave up and started to sob. He hugged her and held her until she fell asleep then he moved her, once again, into his bed.


	5. fun

Sorry It has taken so long for an update. I have not been doing too well lately for may reasons. I am so sorry. I know this is short and it is probably not that good but just let me know. I will try to make the next chapter a little longer...

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Temperance woke up feeling sore the next morning. She didn't want to get up and face Booth but before she could pretend to sleep again, Booth walked in. He slowly walked over to the bed and sat down on the corner.

"Hey Temperance, how are you feeling?" She sat up slowly.

"My arms and legs hurt."

"We are going to have to keep and eye on them to make sure nothing gets infected."

"I know Seeley. After a while I learned what to watch for. It didn't take much. The last thing I want is to have a doctor see my body."

"If there's an infection you don't really have a choice. I'll take you to see my doctor; she's really good and listens." Temperance didn't say anything. She knew Booth wouldn't lie to her when it was this serious and she also knew he was right. She knew how sick she could get if she did get an infection but she was always careful. He got up and told Bones to get freshened up and that they were going out. She tried to protest but he wouldn't let her.

Within 20 minuets they left the house and were on their way. Booth didn't tell Temperance where he was taking her put kept driving. When they finally did stop they were at a fair. Temperance gave Booth a quizzical look. He just got out and took Temperance inside.

The first ride he took her on was the scrambler. It was one of his favorites and he always went on it when he went to a place that had one. He let her sit on the inside and he sat on the outside. When the ride started Temperance wasn't too sure if she was ok with the ride but as the ride went on the more and more she liked it. Booth was able to get a half smile out of her by the end of the ride. The next place they went to nearly got a reaction out of Temperance right away. She saw it and started to smile before catching herself. Booth led her to the teapots. She got into one by herself and Booth got into another one by himself. They started the ride and Temperance started to spin it as fast as she could. Within the first 30 seconds she had the biggest smile on her face. What Booth didn't realize was that when Temperance what about 5 her mom used to take her on this ride until they were both so dizzy they could barley smile. It brought back memories of her happy innocent days and she could do nothing but smile. Booth was glad to see her smiling and wished that the right would never end. He had no choice other than to smile with Temperance.

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What would you guys think about Booth and Temperance Hooking up... I am debating on making that happen or just having everybody be friends 


	6. baby?

Holy macaroni theres another chapter... Sorry it took so long I've had a lot going on. I've been working my getting my cutting under control and it's been going ok but really hard, i am in the process of switching therapist, I had surgery on my wrist and there is a small possibility that I may have to go back for more... My grandmother has been diognosed with breast cancer and most likely has another kind. I am sorry it took so long to update... as you can tell things have been hectic... oh yea there is a little bit of reference of the last episode of bones with the baby... I'll try to update sooner... Thank you so much for all the reviews and suggestions they will most likely be used...

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Booth was extremely happy that he could get Temperance to smile

Booth was extremely happy that he could get Temperance to smile. He was worried about her and wanted to do anything he could to make her happy. It hurt him to see her hurting like she was. He still didn't quite understand why she cut but all he knew was that he wanted to make her better and take all her pain away.

After the park he'd taken her out to dinner and dessert. He was glad that she at least seemed to be having a good time. Booth knew that Temperance had a long road a head of her and was hoping that he could do something to make it easier. He didn't want to tell her that he loved her and he would do anything to make her stop hurting. After they were done eating Booth and Temp went to his car and were getting ready to leave. Temp stopped buckling herself halfway through and looked up at Booth.

"Umm, thank you for the night tonight Seeley. It's been a long, long time since I've had fun like that." She looked down and finished buckling. Booth smiled.

"No problem Temperance, I'm glad I could help…… You do realize that I'm here if you ever need to talk right?" Temp nodded her head.

Part way home Booth opened his mouth to say something to Temperance but when he looked over Temperance's eyes were closed and she had a small smile on her face. Booth was so happy to see that she had had a good day.

When they got to his house Booth quietly got out and went to Temperance's side. He slowly opened her door and unbuckled her. He picked her up and started to carry her to the house. When he got to the door he shifted Temperance so he could open the door. When he did she wrapped her arms around his neck. He stopped for a second then continued to bring Temperance to his bedroom. He put her gently in the bed then got his PJ's and left his room closing the door behind him.

The next morning Temperance woke up and decided that she had to go to work. She didn't want to make Booth come up with another way to distract her and keep her busy. She quietly got up and got dressed. She was trying to leave quietly so she didn't wake Booth. She made it halfway out the door when Booth woke up. He sat up and looked around. He spotted her and quickly stood up.

"And where do you think you're going Bones?"

"I need to go to work today."

"The only way you're going is if I go to."

"Well you better hurry up because I'm going." With in 5 minuets Booth was dressed out the door. When they got to work Temperance got out of the car and went inside before Booth could get out. She went straight to her office and sat down. She was searching in her desk when Angela came in.

"Hey Temp, How you doin?" Temperance quickly closed the door and looked up.

"Not to bad. I just got a case and am waiting for Booth."

"What were you looking for?"

"A pen" Temp replied a little too quickly. Angela knew what she looking for but didn't really want to push Temperance so she let it go. She left and went back to her office.

When Temperance and Booth got the scene and looked around. She was at the sight of a car accident with the person inside burned. Hence the reason Temperance was called in. They were looking around when Booth heard something. He told everyone to be quite and listened again. This time he was able to tell where the sound was coming from, up. That's when they all saw the baby. The fire department was able to get him down and handed him off to Temperance. She and Booth were attempting to take care of him when he swallowed a piece of evidence, a key. She and Booth had to keep the baby until he passed the key.

They brought him back to the lab until they could figure out what to do with him. Temperance handed the baby to Booth before rushing to her office. He quickly followed. When they got there she had picked up her phone and was calling someone. Booth just stood there waiting. When Temperance hung up he gave her a questioning look. She simply told him,

"He is now my foster son."

"What? Just like that?"

"Well I told them what was going on and that I use to be in the foster care system. They told me I could be his foster mother for now."

"And you're sure you can handle this?"

"Actually this is something I've wanted to do."

"Really?" She nodded her head. By this time it was getting late. She had no baby supplies and had to go shopping. Booth told her that he would go with her. They stopped at a babies 'r' us a target and grocery store. They bought a crib, diapers, clothes, formula and toys. Temperance didn't have to say it out loud because Booth could see it but she had and a lot of fun shopping for the baby. They got home and she helped Booth set up the crib and changing table they bought. She knew that he wouldn't be with her for his entire infancy but while she had him she wanted to do as much as she could for him. They had decided to do set everything up at Temperance's house. They got into a fight about the sleeping arrangements but Temperance told Booth that she would be sleeping in the baby's room and he could either sleep in her room or the living room. He wanted to have Temperance in her own room but she told him no and that she would be sleeping in the baby's room. He finally agreed and helped her set up a bed for her in the room.

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Reviews will help...Thanks guys


	7. Help

I'm sry it took so long. I had my internet turned off and finally got my room clean. I finally switched therapists and the one I am now seeing is amazing and has really been helping me. She is the first therapist That I have been able to open up to. So yea ... hear is another chapter. I hope you enjoy.

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Temperance woke up twice through the night

Temperance woke up twice through the night. The baby however slept through the entire night. She kept checking on him and making sure that he was still breathing. When the morning finally came and the baby woke up Booth came in to check on them. When he did he found Temperance changing the baby and making him smile. He was shocked to see her in a short sleeve shirt and shorts. Her arms and legs were covered in fresh and old scars. He tried not to make any noise but stared for a moment. A moment later she turned around and noticed Booth. She gasped and looked down. She tried her best to cover her arms and legs but it was hard since she had the baby in her arms. Booth walked over to her and gave her a hug whispering in her ear that it was going to be ok and he would always be there for her. She was crying when he pulled away. The baby had put his head on her shoulder and Booth smiled.

"You know, when you're ready, you would making an amazing mother." She smiled.

"I don't think so. What kid would want a mother whose body is covered in scars she made herself?"

"I don't think the kid would really care as long as she loved them with her whole heart." She gave a small nod. He gave her a nod before he took the baby from her. She went into her room and changed into pants and put a light sweater over herself. She came out and Booth was on the floor playing with the baby. Temperance got the diaper bag and put the baby into his carrier. They got in the car and drove to work. At work Temperance took the baby into her office. She set up a play pen and set him in it. She then got to set on the paper work and trying to find the baby's father. She smiled every time she heard the baby make a sound that was obviously a happy noise.

Everyone would come into her office to see the baby and check on how Temperance was doing. They all noticed that Temperance seemed happier when she had the baby. Those who were in the office when Booth came in also noticed that her face would light up. Nobody said anything but almost everyone realized that Temperance had a crush on Booth and visa versa. Angela however was trying to put together a plan to get the two together. She was going to get the help of Hodgins and they were hoping that it wouldn't take too long.

After she talked with Hodgins for a little while she went to visit Temperance and the baby. When she got there she noticed that Temperance seemed a little distracted. She walked in and noticed that the baby was asleep.

"So Temp, how are things going?"

"Ok, we still can't find his father. I can tell that who ever is parents were, they loved him very much."

"Well it's obvious that his foster mom loved him too. Have you ever thought about having one or two of your own?" Temperance gave her a look.

"Why is it that everyone asks that? I don't think it would be a great idea for a women who's body is covered in self inflicted wounds to have a child. I mean it could really mess up a kid and why would I want to do that to a child?"

"Temp you're not going to mess up a kid because you're a cutter. You can raise the kid to know that there are better ways to get rid of stress and pain. You would make a great mother and they would love you."

"Yes I'm sure that the doctors would feel fine sending a baby home with me."

"Temperance, I know it's not easy but if you can stop cutting for a while than all they will see are old scars. As long as you prove to them that you are mentally stable they won't have a problem sending a kid home with you."

"Well for now the answer is maybe but I think we should stop before we wake up the baby." Angela just nodded and left. Temperance was pretty upset and went to make sure the baby was still a sleep. She then went over to her desk and found her razor almost right away. She turned around so that the baby wouldn't see if he woke up. She then started to drag the blade across her skin. She felt relief and started to drag it across when the door opened. She dropped the blade and turned around. Booth was standing there. She had her hand over the two new cuts. She had tears in her eyes almost right away. He went over and locked the door then went and knelt beside Temperance. She showed him the cuts and he got tissues and cleaned up the blood. He then found the band aids she had in her desk and placed them over her cuts. He wiped her tears than slowly and gently he kissed her. He looked at her and gave her a hug.

"Shhh, it's ok Temp we're gong to get you help. I promise." After a few minuets she called down a bit and looked at him. "I know this good therapist that I can take you to. She's really good. I promise. She won't tell anyone either." Temperance just nodded. He kissed her again and this time she kissed back. They broke apart smiling. Booth left to call the therapist and Temperance stood to get the baby who had woken up.

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Review please... Sorry it took so long to update... Hope there weren't too many mistakes and that you enjoyed..


	8. First appointment

Sorry it took so ling to update... Just random stuff going on. I had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday so please excuse and mistakes. I hope you enjoy. Again sorry for the long wait...

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Booth had made an appointment with the therapist for 2 days

Booth had made an appointment with the therapist for 2 days. He knew he was lucky to get an appointment that quick but had been able to do some bargaining with the office. He knew the therapist because he sent Parker to her when Booth and his wife were separating. She took children and adults and Parker seemed to get along with him well and when Booth met her she seemed really down to earth. He went back to Temps office and saw her with the baby.

"So I made you an appointment for 2 days." Temperance turned around and smiled.

"Thank you so much Booth. I am so happy that you're the one helping me." Booth smiled at her.

"Hey Temperance, what would you think of well, um, going out on a date with me?" Temperance smiled and nodded.

"I would love to." They smiled at each other and the baby started to gurgle and make some noise. Temperance was holding him and looked him. "Do you like that idea buddy?" He just continued to make more noise.

The 2 days went by fast and Temperance was extremely nervous about meeting the therapist. She and Booth and taken the day off. She woke up early and was debating on what to wear. She knew it was going to be a long sleeve and long pants but still wasn't sure what to wear. After a while she decided on a purple shirt with a v neck and jeans. When the baby woke up she got him dressed and they were sitting in the living room waiting for Booth to come over. He was going to take her to the appointment and watch the Baby while she talked to the therapist. When he got over he saw Temperance and realized at once why he loved her.

After they got the baby ready they started to head to the therapist. One the way there Booth stopped at an ice cream shop and Temperance and him chocolate shakes. Temperance shared hers with the Baby since she was too nervous to drink all of it herself. When she got here she took a deep breath and got the baby out of the car. Booth assured her that it would be ok. They got in there and Temperance gave the receptionist her name and the receptionist told her that Cynthia (the therapist) would be right with her and to have a seat. She sat down and started to play with the baby. A few minuets later Cynthia called Temperance in. She stood up and gave the baby to Booth. He gave her an assuring smile. Temperance walked in and sat down. Cynthia closed the door and sat down.

"Hi Temperance, today we are just going to get to know each other a little bit. Ok?" Temperance nodded. "So is that you husband and son out there?"

"No, Booth and I just started dating the other day. As for the baby he is involved in a case I'm working on and we can't find his Dad right now, his mother is dead."

"Oh I'm sorry. So why did you decide to start therapy? Booth told me a little bit but not why." Temperance took a deep breath and looked away. "It's ok Temperance, anything you say in here won't leave this room. The only way I would even think of sending you to a hospital is if you were suicidal, which your not right?"

"No, I've seen what suicide does to a family and I can't do that to people. I'm here because I hurt myself." She continued to not look at Cynthia.

"What do you mean by you hurt yourself?" Cynthia asked in a soft voice.

"I, um, I cut myself" Temperance whispered.

"Do you do it often?" Temperance slowly nodded.

"Temperance it's ok. I'm not going to go tell your boss or anyone. Why do you do it?"

"My parents abandoned my brother and me then my brother abandoned me. I didn't have the best foster parents most of the time and just started to cut to relieve the pain."

"I can understand that. I'm not going to lecture you on how bad it is because honestly, I don't think it's that bad. You found a way to deal with things and although it may not be the best it's not the most dangerous thing to do." Temperance nodded.

"So we are almost out of time is there anything else you would like to talk about?" Temperance shook her head. "Alright, well why you don't make your next appointment for next week. If for what ever reason you can't get someone to watch the baby or even if you just want to feel free to bring him with you." Temperance nodded. "Well see you next week, and good luck with your date. He seems like a very helpful and concerned man. You're lucky to have him."

"Thanks you." Temperance walked out and made to appointment for exactly a week. She walked over to Booth and took the baby from him. Booth looked at her.

"So how'd it go?"

"Good, I really like her." Temperance and Booth both smiled. They got in the car and headed home. They had their date planed for the next day and they were going to have Angela watch the Baby.

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Reviews are always welcome... so please let me know what you think...Thanks people.I'll try to update sooner.


	9. Date

LOOK another chapter. and soon!! Things have been going ok for me. My therapist and psychiatrist have both been amazing to me. And are both really helping me. Thank you for the reviews. I hope there aren't too many mistakes.

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Temperance was getting ready for her date with Booth

Temperance was getting ready for her date with Booth. She had most of her clothes on her bed and the baby was sitting on the bed playing with the tv remote. She was getting really frustrated and couldn't find the right outfit. Angela let herself in and found Temperance in her room.

"Hey sweetie. You ready yet?" Temperance gave her a are you for real look.

"Does it look like I'm ready?" Angela chuckled. She looked around the room.

"Having a bit of trouble finding the right outfit?" Temperance looked at her again. The baby looked at both of them and made a laughing noise. This made both women laugh. Angela looked through the clothes for a minuet than pulled out a light blue button up shirt and a pair of jeans. She handed them to Temperance who went into the bathroom and got changed. Angela picked up the baby and was playing with him when the door bell rang. Since Temperance was getting ready she answered it and told Booth to come in and sit down. Booth was dressed in jeans and a red shirt. Angela handed the baby to him and went to check on Temperance. She knocked on the bathroom door and Temperance opened the door. She was dressed and had make up on. The only thing not done was her hair. Angela twirled her finger telling Temperance to turn around. She put Temperance's hair up so that only half was up and the rest was down. They both walked out to the living room. Booth looked up and his jaw dropped. Temperance smiled. Angela took the baby and Booth and Temperance left.

Booth drove them and still hadn't told Temperance where they were going. Temperance watched out the window for most of the ride. Booth pulled into a miniature golfing place. Temperance turned and smiled at him. They got out and got their clubs and balls.

"I haven't done this since I was with my parents." Temperance looked down as she said this. Booth smiled a little.

"I figured it would be a fun thing. I hope its ok."

"I love this Booth. I just can't help but think how disappointed my mom would be with me if she were alive right now."

"I don't think she would be disappointed at all. If anything she would most likely be sad that her daughter was feeling this much pain." She slightly nodded. "Temp, it's true." He gave her a hug and got back to golfing. At the end Temperance beat Booth. They got back in the car and Booth drove them to the movies. He got them tickets to see Get Smart. Again Temperance smiled when he did this.

"My family used to sit down and watch the show. It was something our family always did together." Booth gave her a hug.

"A guess I'm really hitting this on the head." They hugged.

After the movie is was late so Booth took Temperance home. He walked her to the door. Temperance looked around.

"So um I had a lot of fun tonight Booth. Thank you."

"No problem. I am glad that you enjoyed it. I hope that we can go out again soon."

"Me too." Booth slowly leaned down and kissed Temperance. She smiled and kissed him back. They said good night to each other. He walked back to his car and she walked inside. Angela quickly jumped on her.

"Ohmygod! How did it go? I saw you guys outside, That seemed like a pretty steamy kiss. Are you guys going to go out again? What did you guys do?" Temperance smiled.

"Slow down Ange. It was an amazing night. We went miniature gulfing then went to the movies. Of course we are going to go out again. We ate junk food for dinner. How was the baby?"

"He was great. Went to sleep almost right away. What about that kiss. It looked sweet." Temperance smiled at the thought of the kiss. Angela could tell that the kiss was good by Temperance's reaction. Angela said goodbye and left. Temperance checked on the baby than got ready for bed. She lay in Bad for a few hours thinking about how the day had went. She finally fell asleep and had the best night of sleep she had had in along time.

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Please review... I'll try to update soon again...


	10. Second appointment

Sorry it took so long to update...My computer crashed and then I moved to college... I hope it's ok. Sorry if it's short... Let me know what you think...

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A week had past since Temperance's date with Booth. She was seeing the therapist today and was getting ready. She had to bring the baby with her today because everyone was still busy trying to find out who and where his father was. They had finally figured out that his name was Andy. Temperance had gotten him ready and was getting herself ready. She was running a little late so she grabbed the first shirt she could find. After she put it on she realized it was a short sleeved shirt. She didn't have time to change so she grabbed a jacket. She put Andy in his car seat and left for the therapist.

When she got there she grabbed the diaper bag and Andy and practically ran inside. She was only a few minuets late and was called in almost right away. Cynthia was glad to see her and the baby. Temperance had called ahead to let her know that Andy was coming along so Cynthia had set up a play pen for him. Temperance put him down then sat down across for Cynthia. Throughout the session Temperance would look at Andy and would shift. She was trying to ignore the fact that it was hot in the room. Cynthia was talking to her when she finally got fed up with the heat. She took a deep breath and slid her jacket off. She tried to avoid look at Cynthia. After a few minuets of silence she looked up and noticed Cynthia was watching her. She wasn't looking at her arms but was looking at her face. Temperance was shocked.

"You're not staring at my arms."

"Why would I"

"You don't see the damage I've done. The ugliness of my arms?"

"No I don't Temperance. What I see is the result of needing to let your feelings out. I don't see any ugliness." Temperance didn't say anything but tears started to fall. Cynthia gave her a few minuets to let out what she needed to and handed her a tissue.

"Sorry about that. I'm usually not a crier."

"But it's a good thing to do once in a while. See you tend to take out your emotions through cutting. People you don't harm themselves usually cry, scream, or punch something." Temperance didn't say anything but nodded in agreement. Temperance told her about how she was starting to cut less. She explained that she was still having an extremely hard time but found the Andy was helping her.

"So are you thinking about having kids sooner or later?"

"I wouldn't mind but I probably shouldn't."

"Why not?"

"What kind of mother would I be? I'm sure that the child would see the scars and want to know what they are from. How can I tell them when they get older that it's wrong to cut when I cut. I can I expect them to not cut?"

"I'm sure that you would be a great mother. You wouldn't have to tell them until they get older. When you do tell them you can turn it into learning experience and teach them what to do instead of cutting."



"I don't know. I just don't think it would be a great idea."

"Well, we can address this next time but unfortunately our time's run out." They said their good byes and Temperance picked up Andy and left. She made an appointment for a week later then headed to work. Everyone knew she was going to be late but not everyone knew why. She got to work and gave Andy to Angela. They had worked out a schedule so that those at the lab, who were willing to take care of Andy, got to watch Andy.

Temperance was starting to find other ways to deal with things than cutting. At the lab she would stay away from her office and talk would either play with Andy or talk to people. At home she would call Booth or play with Andy. She couldn't bring her self to throw away any of her blades. She still used them but it wasn't as often.

They were still trying to find Andy's father but were still having a hard time. They found out were his home town was and they had found his parents best friends. They didn't tell them that Andy was still alive but asked them about his mom and when they had last seen his father. They had been a little helpful and they now had a name for his father.


	11. Finding the father

Sorry it took so long to update. I just started college and was overwelmed...I have to world's worst roommate so that didn't help. I'm this chapter is short...I will try my best to update sooner...I already have plans for the next chapter. Let me know what you think...

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When they got back to the lab they started right away on trying to find Andy's father. Temperance had Andy in her office on her lab. She was typing stuff up on the computer and Andy was randomly hitting the keyboard and looking at Temperance. She would smile back down at him and every once in a while kiss is head. After awhile he leaned on her stomach and sighed. The next time she looked down at him his eyes were half closed. She smiled and slowly picked him up so that he was lying in her arms. He fussed a little but than fell asleep. She stood up and walked around a little. The door opened suddenly.

"Hey Bones, oh is he asleep?" She nodded and kept walking around.

"There's a possibility we found his father but it's not looking that great." She looked up. "We might need you. Angela can take the baby. She nodded and headed to give Angela Andy. They didn't need to worry about the diaper bag because they all had necessities in their rooms.

When they got to the scene there were people digging in a big mulch pile. Temperance went up to where most of the people were and saw the skeleton they had mostly uncovered.

"What makes you think this is Andy's father?"

"The evidence Temp. There were scraps of clothes matching what he was last seen wearing." She looked down and got to work. By the time they got the rest of the skeleton uncovered Temperance had estimated the height, age, and ethnicity to those of Andy's father.

"I'm going to want to run some more test but I'm pretty sure this is Andy's father. By the looks of it the heat of being buried under all of this caused him to decay more quickly. I want these bones back to my lab as soon as possible."

After they got to the lab and Temperance ran some tests she discovered that the skeleton was in fact Andy's father. She was upset that Andy was now an orphan. She went to Angela and saw that Andy was awake. She picked him up and cuddled with him. She knew the best place for him would be with the friends of his parents. She really didn't want to let him go but knew it was better for him. She got his stuff from her office and headed home. She had a little more time to spend with him and was going to do so. She was very scared to give him back because without him she didn't have much to distract herself.

When she got back to her house she sat down with Andy and was helping him stand.

"Well, you are soon going to live with your mom and dad's friends. They seem really nice. I'm sure they'll take good care of you." He looked at her and smiled. "Andy, I'm not usually one for goodbyes but I'm going to miss you. You are the best baby I've ever had to watch. Well you are they only one but still. I hope you realize that I'll always be here for you." Temperance sighed. She looked at him then chuckled.

"You know before you I would never have talked to a baby." She gave him a hug than got him ready to go out. She took him to that mall and bought him a blanket and then went to build a bear. She chose a lion and made it for him. She figured it could stand for strength and hoped he would want to keep it for a while. He seemed to really like it when she gave it to him. Temperance got back to her room and Andy was asleep. She got him out of the carrier and put him in his crib. She watched him sleep for a while then got ready for bed herself.

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Consider your update as my brithday present...The 25th will be my 18th soooooo...you know what to do ...thanks


	12. Goodbye's always suck

Sry it took this long...... My cutting is getting under control...I got a tattoo of an orange ribbon with the words strength hope survival.......I may have temp get the same but in a let noticble spot....haven't decided yet...... Sry if this is a sucky chap......let me know what you think

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Temperance woke up the next morning very depressed. It was the day she had to bring Andy back. She got dressed and went into Andy's room. He was up and playing in his crib. She picked him up and put her head against his. He played with her hair. She kissed his forehead and slowly got him dressed. She fed him breakfast and was too upset to eat herself. She still had a few hours until she took him to his new home so she sat in the living room with him and watched him play. She had packed everything he needed the night before so she didn't need to worry about that. After a bit Andy got a bit fussy so she put him on her lab and started to read to him. He kept looking up at her and putting his hand on the book. After a little he started to close his eyes. She held him while he napped which was for about and hour.

After he woke up she started the dreaded task of getting all his stuff in the car. She got over half of it in the car when Booth drove up. He got out of the car and walked up to her. She looked at him and within in seconds was sobbing. Neither said anything but Booth held Temperance. Andy was in the living room in a play pin. After a few minutes she calmed down a bit and they both walked into the house in silence. Temperance picked up Andy and Booth finished packing the car. After he finished packing he went inside and looked at Temp. She looked at him and started to cry silently. She put him in the car and strapped him in. Booth was driving so that she could sit in the back with him. On the way to the office he kept looking at her and smiling. She couldn't help but smile each time. When they got there she slowly got him out of the car. He seemed to know there was something going on because he held on to her tight.

They went inside and went into the room where they were meeting his new parents. She went in and sat down with him. A few minutes later the couple walked in. When Andy saw them he got excited. Temperance took a deep breath and handed him to his new mother. He looked at her than back at Temperance. Temp couldn't take much more. She stood up said goodbye than left. She practically ran back to her office than locked the door. She shut the shades and walked quickly over to her desk. She opened the drawer and located exactly what she was looking for. She rolled up her sleeve and dragged the blade across her skin. She did it several more times before she finally stopped. She dropped the blade and looked at what she had done. She started to cry again. That's when she heard a knocking at the door. She started to clean up, when she heard Angela's voice.

"Temperance sweetie, please open up. Booth just got me." She took a deep breath, pulled her sleeve down and slowly walked to the door. She opened the door and Angela looked at her and walked in. Angela closed the door and took Temperance's arm. Temperance didn't fight but looked away. Angela slowly pulled her sleeve up and got a tissue. She wiped the blood off her arm then held it there for a few minutes. She took it away and got some band aids. The entire process was done in silence. When it was done Angela gave her a huge hug. They sat for a while and talked. As soon as he could Booth came in. He looked at Angela and knew exactly what had happened. Angela noticed that Booth had come in and left. He sat down and held Temperance in his arms. She sobbed for a while more then Booth helped her stand up and they both left. They got back to her house and she lay on her couch. She remain that way for the rest of the day.

Booth stayed with her the night and the next day got her up and ready. They had purposely made an appointment with Cynthia for that day. She wore a short sleeve shirt and a jacket. When Cynthia called her in Temperance took off her jacket and crossed her arm.

"I see you cut again. You want to talk about it?"

"I had to give Andy to his new parents."

"I can see how that is upsetting. What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know. He was one of the big reasons I was trying to stop."

"Did you ask about seeing him?"

"Yea, they told me that I could see him whenever I want and that I was the first choice for his babysitter. It's just I don't know what I'm going to do without him at my house. I'm afraid to be alone."

"Have you thought about asking Seeley to stay with you for awhile?" Temperance didn't really know what to say. She had thought about that but didn't want to put the pressure on Booth. She liked him too much and was afraid that it would ruin their relationship. She wasn't sure what to tell Cynthia and what to do. She sat their in silence and Cynthia looked out her.

"Temperance?"

"I don't know I don't want to put this on him."

"Would it hurt to ask?"

"I don't know. I guess I could." The time was almost up so they talked about how she was going to ask him and what would happen if he said no. At the end of the session Temperance put her jacket on and said goodbye. She made another appointment for the next week. As soon as she got home she called Booth. He came over almost immediately and they sat on the couch together while he held her in a protectively and fell asleep together.

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Review please :)


	13. Too deep

I am soo sorry it took me so long to update....I have lost 2 friends because of my cutting and that has been hard on me...... I am doing ok right now....I hope this isn't too bad and that you enjoy it....please review. I will do my best to update sooner....Once again sorry it took so long to update....enjoy and let me know what you think :)

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When Temperance woke up the next day it took her a moment to remember what had happened the day before. As soon as she had she felt extremely depressed. She knew what she had to do to help the pain of losing Andy. She slowly untwined herself from Booth and quietly got dressed. She managed to leave without waking Booth. She got in her car a drove to work rather quickly. When she got there she avoided everyone who was there and went straight to her office. She made sure she locked the door then sat at her desk. She got her razor out from her desk then rolled up her sleeve. Before she made her first cut she made sure she had stuff to clean up with. She put the blade to her skin and pushed before she dragged. She knew right away that she went deeper then she did before but she didn't care. Each cut she made was a little deeper than the one before. She was making a fifth cut when someone pounded on the door. She was startled and went a lot deeper then intended. She gasped and grabbed a tissue. After a second she pulled away the tissue and looked at the damage. Right away she knew she needed stitches. She cleaned up as much as she could and opened the door slightly. As she thought it was Booth at the door. He didn't give her a chance but pushed the door all the way open.

"Damn it Bones, why didn't you wake me up? You scared the hell out of me. I woke up and you were gone. I had no clue where you went, well I did but… Oh god Bones. Let me see." He had noticed that she was holding a tissue to her arm and had big band aide on her arm. He closed the door and took her arm into his hands. They sat on the couch. First he removed the band aide and assessed that damage. He kissed each cut then covered them back up. Next he slowly removed the tissue.

"Shit Bones, I gotta get you to the hospital." She didn't protest but cried.

"I'm sorry Seely, I'm so sorry." She told him sorry until they got to the hospital. He parked as close to the ER as he could and helped her to the door. She nearly collapsed from blood loss when they stepped in. Booth caught her before she hit the ground. A nurse looked up in time to see her nearly collapse. She ran over with a wheelchair.

"What do we have?"

"She cut herself too deep."

"You her husband?"

"Boyfriend and partner."

"All right we'll take her from here. We're going to need you to fill out some paperwork. "He just nodded while they whisked her away to the ER. Booth slowly walked over to the desk to get the paper work. Now that he was alone he was thinking about what had just happened and got really worried. He started to fill out the paper work while he waited for her. He was a little nervous that she would be mad at him for bringing her here but didn't care. He realized that the doctors might try and have her admitted. Since he knew how she felt about this he knew he would have to fight it.

Nearly half an hour later a woman in green scrubs came out and called Booth's name. He quickly got up and went over to her.

"Hi Seeley, I'm Dr. Kennedy. I worked on Temperance. We stitched 2 of the cuts up, the other ones weren't deep enough to require stitches. I noticed that she had a lot of old and healing scars. Do you know how they got there?"

"Yea, she cuts herself. I'm helping her stop."

"Generally with this type of thing we like to admit them to the psych ward and evaluate them."

"No way. She sees a therapist weekly and was doing well until now."

"Do you know what caused her to cut this time?"

"Yea, she had to give her foster child to his new parents."

"You don't think this was a suicide attempt?"

"No, no. Temp would never do that. "

"Can I have the number for her therapist? I would like to call her and let her know what's going on." Booth gave her the therapists' number. After that the doctor led him to Temperance. She was sleeping and had an IV as well as blood to replace what she had lost. Booth pulled up a chair to the bed and held her hand. After a while he laid his head on the bed and fell asleep.


	14. waking up sorry it's short

I'm sorry this is so short and it's taken me forever to update.....I've had a lot going on lately. I'll update real soon, I promise.....please let me know what you think about this short chapter......thanks and sorry once again...  


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It took Temperance a moment to remember where she was when she opened her eyes. It was when she moved her arm and it hurt like hell did the memories come flooding back. She took a deep breath and looked around. She noticed there was a teddy bear from Angela, flowers from Cam and Hodgins had gotten her a book on conspiracy theories. She noticed there was nothing from Booth and felt a little hurt. She felt that maybe he had decided to abandon her. She tried to stop the tears forming but couldn't help it. She quickly wiped her eyes when she heard food steps. She looked down and noticed the feet of a dr.

" Hello Temperance, it's nice to see you're awake. You had us scared for a bit. I hope you don't mind but we talked to your boyfriend about how you got those cuts. He was really worried about you. He refused to leave when visiting hours were over but I finally forced him to." Temperance looked up when the Dr. mentioned Booth. "By the way, I'm Dr. Kennedy."

"Booth? He….he was here?"

"Yes, I'd say you're a very lucky woman to have him. He said he'd be back as soon as he could. Now, do you want to talk about the cutting?" Temperance looked anywhere but at the Dr. She shook her head. "I already called your therapist seeing as the only way we are going to release you at this point is if you see her. She said she'd set up an appointment with her as soon as you'd like." Temperance slowly started to look at the dr. again. What she saw shocked her. While she'd been expecting to see disappointment, anger and disgust on the young drs face, she instead saw concern, care and respect. Temperance started to cry even though she tried her best to hold it in.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a waste of your time, I'm sure you have more important patients to see."

"No Temperance, please understand that you are not a waste of anyone's time. I want to help. I only hope that you accept it." Temperance nodded. " Now pardon me but I do believe I hear Mr. Booth outside fighting with our nurses. I'll send him right on in if that's ok." Dr. Kennedy and Temperance both smiled. Temperance looked at herself to make sure any cuts were covered. She didn't want Booth to see them. The nurses were nice enough to give her a robe. She looked at the Dr. and nodded. Dr Kennedy left to go get Booth before anything turned physical.


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